Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
