why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize