RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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