took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
