U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize