So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
