Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
