Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
