i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
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