Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(501): View more from Arkansas

He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.

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(516): View more from New York

my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall

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(347): View more from New York

triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.

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(216): View more from Ohio

Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.

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(913): View more from Kansas

He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around

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(765): View more from Indiana

Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af

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