dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize