We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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