GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize