I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
