At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
