I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
