Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
