Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
