handjob tips. give me some.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
