well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
