you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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