i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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