my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
