That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize