I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
