He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
