I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
