He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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