my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
