I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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