If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
