i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
