Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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