He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
