pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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