I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
farters have to be the big spoon...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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