So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
