She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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