dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
