last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
