I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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