my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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