I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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