she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
