There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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