walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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