Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize