I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize