I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
