Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
