shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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