no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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