and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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