Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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