I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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