We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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