I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
