He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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