Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
